Watching the news the other day, I saw a story on Bill Cosby. The prosecutor used, as one of his arguments, that the Bill Cosby story couldn’t possibly be true, because the woman continued to have a working relationship with him. Apparently the prosecutor has never heard of the Stockholm Syndrome: feelings of trust or affection felt in certain cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor.
Was the victim (although I like to refer to her as the survivor, because she is dealing with her incident) kidnapped? a hostage? Anyone who has been in an abusive relationship knows that is exactly how it feels; powerless, under someone else’s control, feeling unable to escape….. A young (30), black, gay woman would have felt kidnapped…trapped in her own mind and body, with her memories. When, as a society are we going to get it? She is crazy strong and brave. I don’t know her, but I sure respect her. Many of the relationships around her, working and otherwise, challenging her flashbacks…
Are there exceptions when someone lies about abuse, yes there are, but they are far less than what we could ever imagine. Women and men are far more likely to be disbelieved, when they are telling the truth. We don’t want to believe the truth, this is obvious in the Cosby case…but we have to look at the ugly.. We have to, in able to solve it..
I need to clarify: looking at the ugly is when there are facts to support; looking at the ugly is not believing every bit of gossip that runs through the grapevine. I have been the subject of those grapevines and the only ugly there is the people spreading the unsubstantiated gossip. I challenge you to know the difference
The definition of zen is slang for feeling peaceful and relaxed.
I am riding the CANDISC this week, hopefully feeling Zen and not like flat squirrel. Please keep my safety in your prayers.